angelikitten: Cat with a halo (Random - I am the Emperor Fabulous!)
Madamsir Sammieface ([personal profile] angelikitten) wrote in [community profile] angelikittentreats2009-12-17 04:33 pm

[REPOST] Friend of My Friend: El Dragón (Superdictionary)

Title: Friend of My Friend
Characters/Pairings: El Dragón, Wonder Woman/Supergirl
Rating: Adult
Summary: For once, it really isn't about who El Dragón likes.
Author's Note: Originally posted on May 5 2009 for [livejournal.com profile] fortycakes

If Home Is Where The Heart Is
The Plan Can't Fail Until There's A Plan
Surveillance
Waiting
The Best Laid Plans
Ruined

El Dragón didn't normally like Supergirl. He didn't usually like her, because she always made him feel as if she knew she was better than him. Superman often did the same thing, but he could ignore that. He could pretend that that didn't happen, because Superman was hot.

But today, something was different. Something was not the same. It may have had something to do with the fact that Wonder Woman was sat next to her on the couch.

Wonder Woman had been mad at him. She had been angry with him when she'd found out that he had tried to make a plan without her. But when the plan had gone wrong, she had stopped being mad and decided to try to help him. She had decided to try to assist him in getting Batman and Robin together. She hadn't been entirely sure that it was the best idea. She hadn't been convinced that it was the best idea, but she had known that El Dragón wanted Robin to be happy, and as his friend she had to help him do that.
Or, at least, that's what she'd told him. El Dragón decided that it was probably best to believe her. It was probably best to accept what she said as the truth. But it was still likely that she'd brought Supergirl along to punish him. It was likely that she'd done it to make him feel bad for what he'd done.

"Superman is pretty silly." Supergirl was saying. "He is pretty daft. His alter ego, Clark Kent, is still dating that Lois Lane. He's still going out with Lois Lane - you know, that journalist who thought it was a good idea to walk around all day with a box on her head for no reason? Anyway, turns out that he's not even planning to break up with her now he's going out with Batman. He's not planning to stop going out with her so he can go out with him. And the poor girl doesn't even have a clue that all this is happening. She doesn't have any idea that he's also going out with Batman. I told him, he shouldn't really be doing that, and do you know what he said? 'Those are the perks of the job'. I can't believe that he thinks that that is one of the plus sides of doing this job! It's cheating, that's what it is."

Supergirl finally stopped to take a breath. El Dragón was very grateful for this. He was very thankful that she had stopped talking, even for just a little while. Wonder Woman, however, was still beaming at Supergirl. She was still smiling at Supergirl, in the same slightly idiotic way she had been the whole time she'd been talking.

"Anyway." Supergirl continued. "The only way to put an end to all this is to either get Superman to break up with Lois, which isn't going to happen, or split him and Batman up. We have to make one thing or the other happen. And when Wondy told me about your plan, I thought that we should co-operate. We should work together to reach a common goal."

If El Dragón had been paying enough attention, he would have noticed that Supergirl looked somewhat anxious. He would have noticed that she looked nervous. But instead he was thinking Wondy? The last time anyone called Wonder Woman "Wondy", she injured them quite badly. She hurt them quite badly, yet she didn't even flinch just now. What's happening here? What's going on here?

"The only thing is, I don't know how much I can help." Supergirl said sadly. "I can't be sure of how much I can help. There's only one thing that Superman has told me that hasn't to do with his relationships recently. He's only told me one thing lately, and that's how much he's been craving cake these days."

The idea hit El Dragón suddenly. It hit him quickly and unexpectedly. "That's it!" he exclaimed. "If I give him a large amount of cakes just before he's meant to meet Batman, he'll be too busy eating the cakes to meet him. He'll be doing something that he might think is more important than meeting Batman."

"Oh, and Robin could be there to meet Batman instead!" Wonder Woman said excitedly. "Robin could be there in Superman's place. And then he might have a chance with Batman. Robin could possibly have hot mansex with Batman."

"There is one thing." Supergirl told him. "I remember that he once ate twenty little cakes very quickly when he was still a baby. That's as many as two tens. If he could do that as a baby, he'll be able to eat many more cakes now."

"Do you think that I will be able to pay someone to deliver all the cakes to him?" asked El Dragón eagerly. "Do you think that I could pay someone to take the cakes to him?"

"I can't see why not." Wonder Woman answered. "I can't understand why you couldn't."

El Dragón ran into his kitchen. He used his legs to move very quickly into his kitchen, so that he could start baking the cakes. He then heard a giggle from the other end of the apartment. He heard a quiet laugh, and then Wonder Woman saying: "Is it okay if we leave you to do that? It's just that me and Supergirl have other stuff to do."

But before El Dragón could answer, he heard them leave the apartment. He heard them go out of the apartment, and the door shut behind them.

And that's terrible.


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